Someday, mother...

I am back in Eugene, obviously. I decided to forego (sp?) back entries for the day(s) I missed, and instead, am here to provide a wrap-up for this whole endeavor.

I am happy that I decided to blow a bunch of cash and a chance to relax over break to go to New York. It simultanously got me over my weirdness of flying, leaving the west coast, and ambivalent feelings toward New York. Conclusions include: a lot of art is boring; there can be too many people; I love walking in cities; there is no feeling like hearing about a place/piece/etc. and having seen it.

The end.

"I tend to party like it's $5.99."

The visit to David Kramer's studio was wonderful. I feel like my sense of humor lines up quite well with his...as evidenced to me not only through his work (which I have seen online before, thanks to a recommendation by Kartz) but mainly through his demeanor and comments when we spoke with him. I find his work to be very inspiring as it prompts me along a path which I am trying to find for my own creative whatsits.

To anyone who is not deluding themselves, a quick look at the world around will reveal any number of depressing injustices and cruelties. But, what are we supposed to do? Sit around and cry all the time? Humor is a useful tool for dealing with the existence of more problems than one could ever hope to solve. I find it way more useful and cathartic than the other awareness-raising method of artists, which is to be poignant and heartwrenching (and this also demeans the subject, if you ask me...using whatever horribleness is targeted by said artwork to take advantage of people's feelings and make them feel crappy and useless and even more depressed. I REFUSE TO FEEL GUILTY FOR STARVING AFRICANS. There aren't channels available to the average person to do anything helpful, assuming they even have the resources for it.)

I am joining the goddamn Peace Corps someday, so kiss my ass.

Yesterday.

Here are some haiku I have written inspired by my experiences thus far:

as i pass dumpsters
the smell of urine lingers
drunk people have passed

off in the darkness
a strong wind begins rushing
i missed the damn train

first one, then many
cacophony is growing
quit honking your horn

Woman With Her Throat Cut

The MoMA was amazingly cool. It is still (and increasingly) neato to see all of the paintings and sculptures that I have had to memorize for art history classes. Also, the Whitney Biennial was sweet.

Today's conclusion is that mannequins are creepy. Especially headless ones. Especially realistic ones. Especially all of them. Ew, creeeeepy. They are *everywhere* in every window, every store...staring with their fake eyes, or not staring with their no head....(not) staring,
(n o t) s t a r i n g...(NOT) STARING!!!

Anyway, I think I could get along here just fine if I had to. But I don't. A week is cool, but I will be happy to be back in Eugene.

Also, I have developed an affinity for white pictures on white backgrounds. I think I will use this idea someday for some thing or another.

Can you find me soft asylum?

I am thoroughly unimpressed by the NYU MFAs. However, I feel more confident about my own work and it is kind of nice to know that just because you are from New York does not give you any sort of artistic edge. I feel like the emerging artists I saw in the Chelsea galleries today could have been hung side by side with work coming from the same demographic in Eugene. It was fun to see them, but at the same time, I realized I had built up this crazy idea that they would just be astounding and therefore, I was disappointed somewhat. Oh well, I mean, I know (if I take two seconds to think about it) that the talent comes from the person, not where they are from. And that was corroborated today. Also, I got to see some Cindy Sherman film stills, which was awesome, and there was this one entire gallery dedicated to this body of work called...well, I forget, but it was full of these images of creepy childhood. The first thing was a large photograph (I am pretty sure) of a little girl holding a doll, and there was a similar doll resting on top of the frame. There were other pictures with items around or on them, as well. The whole thing was mostly black, with white for the details, and some color. There were charcoal drawings and these giant iron (steel?) boxes that acted as frames for some of the work. Also, there were a bunch of children's shoes stuck onto the wall, some painted. The whole thing had such a strong theme, but with many variations and interesting methods of display. I found it to be quite wonderful. The end.

Judge the hell out.

I don't have a damn thing to say about today.

How do you know so much about swallows?

Now I know why Matthew Barney made a movie in the Guggenheim. I would, too. That place was sweet. And I really like David Smith's work, which was featured there. From both there, and the Met(ropolitan Museum of Art) I recognized so many pieces that I've had to memorize for art history class. It was lovely.

I also liked the order of things today. The Met was full of lovely wandering, then the Guggenheim was full of linearity. Also, we went to a Whole Foods market to buy groceries and it was full of people.

My main impressions of New York so far are that most people are nice, some are overly judgemental, and there are just way too many of them almost everywhere. If I were 2% more agoraphobic I would not be okay right now, but as it is...here I am. Okay.

Yesterday.

It is amazing to be somewhere that has actual diversity instead of one black family. And campus, with their vaunted quotas to meet is no better than Eugene proper. I am so sick of constant prattle about "multiculturalism" and "celebrating differences" and then looking around at the whitest, breadiest town I've ever been in. Pointing at black (or some other non-white) people and saying "look at our fine, diverse, student body"...what the fuck? People are people, man. Racism exists, obviously, and it hurts people, but this mockery does *not* fix anything.
Sometimes people just want to exist, and I think that forcing the issue just hurts those that are truly affected by it every day.

Phew.